Rule #3 - Expectations

I propose we support a one month limit on going steady
I think It will keep people more able to deal with weird situations
And get to know more people
I think if you're ready to go out with Johnny
Now's the time to tell him about your one month limit
He wont mind he'll appreciate your fresh look on dating
And once you've dated someone else you can date him again
I'm sure he'll like it
Everyone will appreciate it
You're so novel what a good idea
You can keep your time to your self
You don't need date insurance
You can go out with whoever you want to
Every boy, every boy, in the whole world could be yours
If you'll just listen to my plan
THE TEENAGE GUIDE TO POPULARITY

Rule #3 - Expectations. Okay, before I get started into this whole thing, let me just make a statement. By no means am I saying that I am perfect at all dating advice and relationships. This is merely my opinion and my thoughts. I have made some of these mistakes myself. With that being said, let’s talk about expectations.

This is where I think most problems in dating come from. For some reason there is a breakdown with what one expects and hopes to come from each relationship. We never seem to make that clear, and sometimes, we throw in mixed signals. Let us begin with a quote from a rather wise man.

“If we start right, it is easy to go right all the time; but if we start wrong we may go wrong, and it will be a hard matter to get right.” - Joseph Smith

This is one of my favorite quotes in the world, because it is really the truth. If you look at anything, dating included, if you start right, it all works out. Whether it be a game, a job, school, whatever. The beginning is very important. Why is it so important in dating? Rather simple.

Let’s say a guy meets a girl, flirts with her, gets her number, and then never calls, what happens? The girl might be slightly crushed. Let’s take it farther. The guy takes her on a date, kisses her goodnight (big or small) and then never calls her, what happens? Super crushed and hates guys. If the guy never had any intention of taking the girl on a second date, or really even that, if he just wanted to make out with her, he should have made that very clear from the get go. Because, while some girls might just be looking for that, not all of them are. And it is usually the innocent ones that become the victims.

Now, let us say that a couple meet, go on a few dates, things go well, and they start dating. Well, why one might be thinking, I like dating them, but I have no intention of marrying them, the other might be praying and hoping that this is the one, so to speak. What happens? Well, the one is crush when a few months down the road the other says, it’s not you, it’s me, I’m just not ready, no need to hold you back.

So, think about it. What are you expecting from relationships? What are you hoping to gain? Marriage? A few nice months of courtship? NCMO? What? What do you want? And be completely clear about that, even if that means saying it out loud. And don’t just think what you want in general, every time you meet someone, think about what do you hope comes from that relationship? A co-worker you can talk to? A friend? Someone to study with? I am sure you aren’t sure what you want with each relationship, friendship or more. However, you can set some guidelines, like, I want to be friends with people first, and if things go well, then pursue a deeper relationship. You can tell when people are crushing on you, and you aren’t thinking so highly about them. Well, let them know. Don’t lead them on. Stop it before it gets to far gone, and out of control.

Are you worried about hurting someone? Well, if you think you will hurt them now, well, wait it out for a few more months, or years. Then see how they feel.

I know that this requires something out of each of us that we aren’t all to sure about. What do we want with our lives? What do we want in a spouse? Well, think about it, and then date with real intent. If you love a certain sport, or game, or have a hobby that makes you you, and you meet someone who doesn’t think the same. Don’t pursue it and say, oh they will change, or that isn’t a big deal. Set goals, and make your expectations clear.

Now, to review the three rules of dating:
Rule #1 - Breaking up - don’t put it off if it needs to be done.
Rule #2 - Likes attract likes - become who you want to date.
Rule #3 - Expectations- make them clear.

As stated above, I am no expert, and make no claim to be. These are just some of my thoughts on a very wide and very sensitive subject. I hope all of you can see and understand what I am trying to say and not be offended by my remarks. In case I don’t see you again, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!