By no means do I think I am a know it all in the dating world, but it seems to be a lot easier than we make it out. Maybe in my small head it seems to be a lot easier than it is. One of those easier said than done things.
The other night I got a text from a friend asking me what I thought about a guy and some things that he said. I think this is where it is important to realize the fact that to each there one. There is no dictionary for dating terminology. For example, to me, hanging out is a group of friends getting together just to have fun. Nothing serious, no relationship coming, whether it is guys only, or a mix. Hanging out is just that, hanging out. But to some, hanging out is a date. So them asking you to hang out is there way of saying hey I like you and I want to be more than friends.
To make dating a little easier, I think a little more straight forward approach would help. Let’s face the facts, everyone has different backgrounds, different ways of living, and yes, even different terminology for dating. So, to gain an edge on the playing field, let’s quit beating around the bush, and get to the point. By no means am I saying that you should walk up to someone and say, “Hey I want to be on you, let’s get together Friday night!” No, that would scare just about anyone away except a hooker! But you can have very clear communication with mere sayings like, I like you. It’s real easy to say something simple, not to serious, but just to let the person know that you like them or show that you have some interest in them.
Now with this comes a story. A girl once told me about this guy who was persistent about getting a kiss from her and said that if she didn’t kiss him, she would hurt his feelings. After a little bit of time, she caved in and gave the guy a kiss, just because she wanted him to quit bugging her and because she didn’t want to be a jerk. This is dating people! Yes, you are going to get hurt, or rejected. Not everyone will like you, so don’t take it personal if someone says no. There are other fishes in the sea, so get fishing. And realize if you don’t want to get hurt, stay out of the game.
Most of the time I hear girls complain about how hard guys are to read. Well, think about this for one second, just bear with me. A guy asks a girl out on a date, she says yes. Date goes good, no problems, good connection, or so it seems. They talk over the next few days, things seem to be moving forward and then the girl gets a little weird. Either ignores the guy, starts flirting with other guys when the guy is in the same room, you’ve all seen it so you know what I am talking about. Now what is the guy suppose to think? Well, maybe she doesn’t like me, in comes the breakdown and the guy doesn’t know what to think, so he in turns picks up and moves on. Now you can take this scenario in any way you want, but the fact is reading the opposite sex is next to impossible and trying to generalize everyone and say this is how guys act and this is how girls act is next to impossible (trust me I do it way too much and end up being wrong a lot). So for a girl to say, "I don’t know what he wants because he is a guy" is stupid!!!! Can girls just for once, take the role in the situation? Think about the guy. We are expected to do all sorts of stuff. We have to make the first move, ask the girl out on the date, be the first to call or text, and do just everything short of making the girl like him. So, for once, could a girl come half way and put in a little effort? Just think of how much easier your life would be if you knew what a guy was thinking? And it wouldn’t be that hard to do, just merely ask him. It’s not rocket science people.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Goodnight Honey!
On behalf of the Black Family, I would like to take a moment and thank each of you for your many cards, flowers, and prayers. And more especially, thank you for your love and support and just being here, it means a lot. Florence Chacon Black, has 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 7 great grandchildren, and more on the way, as noted earlier.
To each of these she is Honey, and she would make it very clear, that she would be the only Honey we would ever have. Honey made the best tortillas ever, and you could find her grandchildren having competitions as to who could eat one in the least amount of bites or fighting over the last one. Sadly, no one will ever be able to make tortillas like that again because to Honey it wasn’t a science, it was an art. She would never measure anything, it was always a handful of this, a little of that, mixed with a whole lot of love, and a prayer that it would taste good and no one would get sick. Tortillas weren’t her only specialty. Whatever the occasion, she seemed to know just the right food for it, cooking for weddings, birthdays, dog shows, graduation, you name it, she probably made a meal for it.
While she might have been a little smaller than her grandchildren, all of us would tell you that we feared her, because she was a spanking grandma and a scolding one too. If you needed a chastisement, she was not afraid to give it to you herself. However, you could never question whether or not she loved you, because you knew without a doubt that she did. After Uncle Vince passed away, Honey gathered her grandchildren and said, “We are family, you might get in a fight or disagree about something but never stay mad. Families love and help each other. She never stayed mad at anyone and always loved them.
She did all she could to teach her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren about God and Jesus Christ. She had a firm belief in Jesus Christ and that he was the Savior and Redeemer of the world. That be His suffering in Gethsemane, His death on Calvary, and His resurrection three days later, all might be free of sin. She believed strongly in prayer and had great faith that all could return back to our Heavenly Father, if they lived justly before Him, something she strived to do every day of her life.
She was deeply saddened by the loss of Pomps, but she pressed on, knowing that they would be reunited in the near future. We all recall the story when Pomps went in for a checkup and the nurse suggested that he quit working at the ranch, Honey said, “No that is how he keeps his muscles!” Her grandchildren would often ask about her fireman calendars that she had, and she would say, that is how I see your Pomps, young and strong, just like when we were younger.
A few weeks before her passing, she told one of her granddaughters, I prayed and told God that I am ready to go, and told Pomps to prepare a place for me. Just as Christ accepted the will of His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, she too accepted the will of the Father here in her life. She is not dead but merely sleeps, for as the scriptures teach “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” In the coming days she will be resurrected with a perfect body of flesh and bone and reunited with her family, an ever strong and true conviction that she has. We need to do nothing more than bid her goodnight until that great morning of the resurrection when Chris comes to rule as King of Kings and calls her forth from the grave to never sleep again. Goodnight Honey, and God Bless You!
To each of these she is Honey, and she would make it very clear, that she would be the only Honey we would ever have. Honey made the best tortillas ever, and you could find her grandchildren having competitions as to who could eat one in the least amount of bites or fighting over the last one. Sadly, no one will ever be able to make tortillas like that again because to Honey it wasn’t a science, it was an art. She would never measure anything, it was always a handful of this, a little of that, mixed with a whole lot of love, and a prayer that it would taste good and no one would get sick. Tortillas weren’t her only specialty. Whatever the occasion, she seemed to know just the right food for it, cooking for weddings, birthdays, dog shows, graduation, you name it, she probably made a meal for it.
While she might have been a little smaller than her grandchildren, all of us would tell you that we feared her, because she was a spanking grandma and a scolding one too. If you needed a chastisement, she was not afraid to give it to you herself. However, you could never question whether or not she loved you, because you knew without a doubt that she did. After Uncle Vince passed away, Honey gathered her grandchildren and said, “We are family, you might get in a fight or disagree about something but never stay mad. Families love and help each other. She never stayed mad at anyone and always loved them.
She did all she could to teach her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren about God and Jesus Christ. She had a firm belief in Jesus Christ and that he was the Savior and Redeemer of the world. That be His suffering in Gethsemane, His death on Calvary, and His resurrection three days later, all might be free of sin. She believed strongly in prayer and had great faith that all could return back to our Heavenly Father, if they lived justly before Him, something she strived to do every day of her life.
She was deeply saddened by the loss of Pomps, but she pressed on, knowing that they would be reunited in the near future. We all recall the story when Pomps went in for a checkup and the nurse suggested that he quit working at the ranch, Honey said, “No that is how he keeps his muscles!” Her grandchildren would often ask about her fireman calendars that she had, and she would say, that is how I see your Pomps, young and strong, just like when we were younger.
A few weeks before her passing, she told one of her granddaughters, I prayed and told God that I am ready to go, and told Pomps to prepare a place for me. Just as Christ accepted the will of His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, she too accepted the will of the Father here in her life. She is not dead but merely sleeps, for as the scriptures teach “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” In the coming days she will be resurrected with a perfect body of flesh and bone and reunited with her family, an ever strong and true conviction that she has. We need to do nothing more than bid her goodnight until that great morning of the resurrection when Chris comes to rule as King of Kings and calls her forth from the grave to never sleep again. Goodnight Honey, and God Bless You!
Monday, June 8, 2009
My get your butt back to college job!
I think that every college student needs to get a really crappy job that makes them hate life. You know, like a job at McDonalds, or being a custodian cleaning up peoples crap. It serves as a very good purpose because then you have a daily reminder as to why you need to finish college. Now, I am not saying that these jobs aren’t important, nor am I looking down on the people who have these jobs. But, if you have a job you hate, then you are more likely to work towards getting a different job, one that you like more.
Anyways, I have a job like that. It’s my “This is why I need to go back to college job.” I work for a corporate recycling company. It sounds fancy but really, I pick up someone’s trash, such as cardboard, paper, and so on, and give it to other people that want it. Its rather amazing. I have worked there for less than a week and I have already moved over 20,000 pounds of cardboard and no that isn’t a typing error.
Now, I enjoy this job because I can explore and see the different ways of life and experience things I have never experienced, like drive a 24 foot truck! But on my second day there I get the job of dropping of pallets to a company that rebuilds them and then sells them back to companies. We had a lot of pallets, like over 400 or so that we needed to deliver. So, I took half in one load with the guy in our warehouse. He went along to show me where to go and what to do. After I dropped off those pallets, I got a receipt for how many we dropped off which had both the number (17) and it written out (seventeen), and then I am to take that receipt and turn it in to get paid. Well, I had more pallets to get so we left and figured we would bring both receipts to the office after we were done.
So, I leave and come back with more pallets, unload, and get my receipt. I then go to the office to turn them in and get a check for them. I walk into the office and a man is sitting in the corner of this single wide trailer, smoking, and I hand him my receipts and he asks me where I got two of them from, and I said I brought two different loads. He then gets on me and gives me a lecture how I am never to leave the yard without dropping off my receipt or getting paid and how too many people have taken them and changed the number of pallets. Now here I am thinking in my head. Wow dude! This is my second day on the job, this is the first time I have ever been here. I didn’t know this.
But after I left, I thought, how sad of a world we live in, where you have to worry about changing the number of pallets you turned in to get an extra dollar or two. Whatever happened to your word being good enough? Has the corporate world gone down the drain that much? Where you can’t even leave somewhere with a receipt because you might try to change it? I guess it explains the economic downfall that we are in. Maybe we should tell the truth and be more trustworthy.
Anyways, I have a job like that. It’s my “This is why I need to go back to college job.” I work for a corporate recycling company. It sounds fancy but really, I pick up someone’s trash, such as cardboard, paper, and so on, and give it to other people that want it. Its rather amazing. I have worked there for less than a week and I have already moved over 20,000 pounds of cardboard and no that isn’t a typing error.
Now, I enjoy this job because I can explore and see the different ways of life and experience things I have never experienced, like drive a 24 foot truck! But on my second day there I get the job of dropping of pallets to a company that rebuilds them and then sells them back to companies. We had a lot of pallets, like over 400 or so that we needed to deliver. So, I took half in one load with the guy in our warehouse. He went along to show me where to go and what to do. After I dropped off those pallets, I got a receipt for how many we dropped off which had both the number (17) and it written out (seventeen), and then I am to take that receipt and turn it in to get paid. Well, I had more pallets to get so we left and figured we would bring both receipts to the office after we were done.
So, I leave and come back with more pallets, unload, and get my receipt. I then go to the office to turn them in and get a check for them. I walk into the office and a man is sitting in the corner of this single wide trailer, smoking, and I hand him my receipts and he asks me where I got two of them from, and I said I brought two different loads. He then gets on me and gives me a lecture how I am never to leave the yard without dropping off my receipt or getting paid and how too many people have taken them and changed the number of pallets. Now here I am thinking in my head. Wow dude! This is my second day on the job, this is the first time I have ever been here. I didn’t know this.
But after I left, I thought, how sad of a world we live in, where you have to worry about changing the number of pallets you turned in to get an extra dollar or two. Whatever happened to your word being good enough? Has the corporate world gone down the drain that much? Where you can’t even leave somewhere with a receipt because you might try to change it? I guess it explains the economic downfall that we are in. Maybe we should tell the truth and be more trustworthy.
Happy Mother's Day!
This is my homecoming talk that I gave on Mother's Day! Hope you enjoy!
To all mothers I would like to wish you a Happy Mothers Day.
Out of all the days of the year that I would not like to speak on, this is the one. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fact that expressing love and gratitude to your mom over the pulpit doesn’t come so easy. But, I started to think about this. Out of all the people here in this congregation, I might just be the man for the job. You see, I have my mom, and than my step-mom, and 4 or 5 grandma’s, I quit keeping track, and than, I have two sisters, who want to be my mom. So, I think I have been well mothered over the years.
For some mom’s, maybe this morning you were feed breakfast in bed, which consisted of burnt toast, raw eggs, and some bacon that wiggled a bit too much. Hopefully, the orange juice was good. You can’t go wrong with orange juice. Others might have gotten a present of some sort. A friend of mine asked me what I was getting my mom for Mother’s Day, and I replied ever so quickly. She gets me! I came back in one piece! What more could she want? So Mom, happy mother’s day! I remember being younger, making a little coupon book of things that my mom wouldn’t have to do that week, or a list of things that I promised I would do better to help out around the house. I think my mother had to work twice as hard that week.. But, truly...
On a day like this we have the opportunity to take stock, if you will, of how we are doing with our families. How well we are doing to be a good husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, brother, or sister. If we could, I would ask that as I speak that you do a little bit of introspection and ask yourself, how am I doing? And what can I do better? And I pray that the spirit will be here to guide both you and I as we examine a few items that effect our families.
On November 4, 2008, California voters gathered to the polls to vote in the most monumental election ever held in the United States of America. They faced two very big decisions. One being who would be the next President of this country. Second, whether or not they would uphold the definition of traditional marriage, between a man and a woman. This proposition, Proposition 8 had been presented before as Proposition 22, in the year 2000. Proposition 22 was deemed unconstitutional by the California Supreme Court and would only be upheld if proposition 8 passed making the definition of marriage between a man and woman a constitutional amendment.
I do not wish to spend the short time I have with you speaking on the political issues involved, nor do I want to speak on the many problems and the great sin and consequences that comes with same sex marriage, but rather I would like to speak on what is at stake here. In the year 2008, the US alone, reported to have some 13 million single parent households.
Most of those households could be affected by the fact that one in three teen girls in the US are estimated to get pregnant at least once before age 20.
Maybe the fact that “probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue.” That just might be a contributing factor as well.
In 1950 the average age for a man to get married was 23, while it was about 20 for a woman. It is now more popular to push marriage back until all the fun is had, all the school is done, the car is bought, the house is purchased, and the dog trained. It is reported that men wait until the age of 28, or even later to get married, while women are not to far behind at the age of 26.
As people are waiting longer until they get married, they are unable to have as many kids. They are also waiting longer to have kids or not having kids at all. In 1970 the average American family size was 4. That has now slipped closer to 2 as one-third of the families in the United States have only two members in them, meaning, no kids. And with advancements in technology, some 40 million abortions are reported every year worldwide.
As well, same sex attraction has moved from being a temptation, to a way in which one is born. All of these, point to a growing attack on the family. I have no intentions of speaking about each one of these stats, however, I would like to point out that if these trends continue, that the way in which our Heavenly Father has intended to move his plan forward, will no longer exist. If the family is destroyed, so is the plan of our Heavenly Father. I do not want to sit here and wring our hands over these statistics , but I would like to address three vital points on things we can do to turn the trends. One, we need to understand the importance of the family as the Lord’s servants have taught. Two, we must understand what our role is within the family. And three, we need to become men and women of holiness, or in other words we need to build Zion.
First, the importance of the family as the Lord’s servants have taught us.
One of the first principles that missionaries teach is that the gospel blesses family, if that family lives the gospel. It is through the family that we can receive all the blessing that our Heavenly Father has in store for us.
President Harold B. Lee declared, “ The most important of the Lord’s work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes.”
In the Family, A Proclamation to the world it states:
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.
I do not know a better way to state it than that. The family is essential to the plan of salvation. Through the power of procreation we are able to bring children into the world, which “are an heritage of the Lord.” Families are something sacred, and something that should be held sacred. And if families are sacred than so is the responsibilities of fatherhood and especially that of motherhood. It shouldn’t be something taken lightly, or looked at as a burden, but rather one of the most sacred and greatest responsibilities ever given to mankind.
President David O. Mckay said, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” We need to do all that we can to build our families upon the gospel and anchor them in the faith of Jesus Christ.
When Moses received the ten commandments, he received 8 commandments of things that the children of Israel should not do, and the other two were things that we should. One of those being that we should keep the Sabbath day holy, the other, to “Honour thy father and thy mother.” This brings me to my second point - we must understand our role within the family.
While many hold the word honor to mean respecting and obeying ones parents, our good friend Webster, gives us a definition that might help us understand a little bit better what the Great Jehovah told Moses.
Honor denoting a good name or public esteem, or one whose worth brings respect or fame.
Now, with this definition in mind, maybe we should look at this great commandment as a way to bring honor to our father and mother. And how could we do that? Well, sometimes when seeking to understand a principle better, we may examine the opposite to help us understand it. The contrast makes it clear. I feel a few words from the Book of Proverbs might help us.
He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach -Proverbs 19:26
That doesn’t like bringing any honor or fame to ones parents. The story of the prodigal son might be applied here as the yooungest son demand his inheritance from his father, and then went about spending and wasting it on things that he had been taught all along were wrong. How sad it is to see, a son or a daughter, turn their back on all the whole and good things that their parents taught them, and go off chasing after the things of the world. How sad it is to see a son or daughter, disrespect, or talk bad about their father or mother, the person who brought them into this world and raised them and took care of their needs. How sad it is to see a son or daughter not give any heed or listen to anything that their mother or father is telling them. What honor are they bringing to their parents?
If this great nation is to turn the trends and protect the family we need more mothers and fathers in zion. We need more young men and young women who understand what their role is in the family and do all that they can to bring honor upon their parents in all ways that they can. Our role in the family is very simple, where ever you fall, being the oldest, the youngest, or stuck right in the middle, or whatever you may be, just be your best, and make sure it is your very best. Bring all the honor and respect that you can to your family, remembering at all times, in all places, and in all things you represent your family, and not just your earthly family, but your ward and your Heavenly family. Holding strong to those values such as Honesty, integrity, chastity, virtue, gratitude, love, and respect. Living and obeying all the commandments of God. And being an example to all of the blessings that come from obeying and honoring your parents.
Now, lastly if we want to turn the trends, we must build Zion. The easiest way to obtain this would be to become like God, or become men and women of Holiness.
In the Book of Moses we learn one of Gods many names.
“Behold I am God; Man of Holiness is my name.”
Christ in the great sermon on the Mount gave us a commandment of something to not just do, or say, but to be become.
“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”
Now, we are commanded to become like our Father in Heaven, who is a Man of Holiness, so, how may one become Holy? We know of a few places that are holy to the Lord, one being the temple, in which all who enter and even just pass by may read, The House of the Lord, Holiness to The Lord.
In the dedicatory prayer to the Kirtland temple, the Prophet Joseph prayed that “all people who shall enter upon the threshold of the Lord’s house may feel thy power, and feel constrained to acknowledge that thou hast sanctified it, and that it is thy house, a place of thy holiness.”
For one to become holy, they must be sanctified by the Lord, much like each one of the temples that have been built in this great latter day dispensation. As Enoch taught his people, the people who would build Zion,
“For by the water ye keep the commandment, by the Spirit ye are justified(justified meaning made right before the Lord), and by the blood (or in other words the atonement) ye are sanctified.”
What is the commandment? For all to come unto God, and after having exercised faith and repenting, they should be baptized by those who have the authority to perform such ordinances. That is why Christ was baptized to keep the commandment or to fulfill all righteousness as the scripture states.
My father is a mechanic, as many of you know. His hands are somewhat black from his daily contact with oil. Does this have something to do with his hygiene? No not at all. He showers regularly, I promise, and he washes his hands multiple times a day. However, due to the constant contact with oil, it has worked down into the little lines in his hand. After proper washing, he can eat foods, and participate in regular activities without all the germs and dirt that come with that oil. The soap has made his hands justified, or made right so he can enjoy such activities. In order for him to get those deep lines of oil out of his hands, he must refrain from touching oil for a long period of time, allowing for all that dirt and oil, to be slowly, but surely removed.
So it is with each of us. When we sin, our hands become filthy, marked and marred with dirt. And with proper washing, or repentance, we may be justified, or made right to participate in all ordinances of the gospel. However, for one to be sanctified, or be made pure, holy, without spot, they must refrain from all ungodliness. Such was what Moroni taught us in his concluding words,
“Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.
And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.”
Some may state that this is something impossible, something that we can not reach while in this life. May I reassure that becoming holy, or sanctified, is ever so possible with this quote by the Prophet Brigham Young:
“Do we realize that if we enjoy a Zion in time or in eternity we must make it for ourselves? That all, who have a Zion in the eternities of the Gods, organized, framed, consolidated, and perfected it themselves, and consequently are entitled to enjoy it?
When we conclude to make a Zion we will make it, and this work commences in the heart of each person. When the father of a family wishes to make a Zion in his own house, he must take the lead in this good work, which it is impossible to him to do unless he himself possesses the spirit of Zion. Before he can produce the work of sanctification in his family, he must sanctify himself, and by this means God can help him to sanctify his family.
There is not one thing wanting in all the works of God’s hands to make a Zion upon the earth when the people conclude to make it. We can make a Zion of God on earth at our pleasure, upon the same principle that we can raise a field of wheat, or build and inhabit.
There has been no time when the material has not been here from which to produce corn, wheat, etc., and by the judicious management and arrangement of this ever-existing material a Zion of God can always be built on the earth.”
We need more mothers and fathers who posses the desire to build Zion. May I return to where I started, with the story of Proposition 8. Many people felt that Proposition 8 would fail, that it would not pass and that same sex marriage would be allowed. That was not the case. A coalition was formed to pass Prop 8, which consisted of many churches and organizations, but The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints took the in getting out the vote. It was the only church that had the organization to do so. And so, the members of the church, sacrificed money and time to go door to door and let people know to go vote. Many hours were spent on the phone calling people to make them aware of Prop 8 on the ballot and to get people to go out and vote. Prop 8 passed by a rather narrow margin, and as prophesied, Satan attacked God’s only true church. While the church was part of a coalition, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was the only church to be openly attacked. People protested outside of churches, at temple square in Utah, and made a rather big scene at the temple in Los Angeles. Calling the members of the Church bigots, and hateful people.
Now, many of you are aware of how many Polynesians are members of the church, and to them, their membership in the church is something sacred to them. The church and the temple is very holy to them. Well, when the protesters gathered outside the LA temple, a group of members from a Polynesian Stake were inside for their stake temple day. They were not happy to see people defacing the gates to the temples, and hanging up posters and picketing. No, they were not going to allow such things to be done to the house of the Lord. No, not for one second, and so they helped those protesters move across the street, and when I say move, they literally moved them.
Brothers and sisters, the bible dictionary teaches us something of great worth about our homes. Under the definition of temple it reads “A temple is literally a house of the Lord, a holy sanctuary in which sacred ceremonies and ordinances of the gospel are performed by and for the living and also in behalf of the dead. A place where the Lord may come, it is the most holy of any place of worship on the earth. Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.”
My mission president said once in a Zone Conference held at his house. “Elders you feel the spirit here, and it is not because I live here, or that this is the mission home, it is because no unclean thing enters in this home. Not through the TV, or the movies, or the music, or the internet. No unclean thing is welcomed here.”
If we want to build Zion, it will start within the walls of our home. We must make a stand, like our Polynesian brothers and sisters did. No, we can not tolerate these trends and say, it’s the norm, its okay. No, it is not. The family is to sacred, the home is to sacred of a place to let it be ruined by the sleeze of the world. We must build our homes upon the gospel of faith, of repentance, of covenant making and keeping. We must show love and respect to others, and we must, we must, be forgiving and have charity. This is my humble prayer in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
To all mothers I would like to wish you a Happy Mothers Day.
Out of all the days of the year that I would not like to speak on, this is the one. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fact that expressing love and gratitude to your mom over the pulpit doesn’t come so easy. But, I started to think about this. Out of all the people here in this congregation, I might just be the man for the job. You see, I have my mom, and than my step-mom, and 4 or 5 grandma’s, I quit keeping track, and than, I have two sisters, who want to be my mom. So, I think I have been well mothered over the years.
For some mom’s, maybe this morning you were feed breakfast in bed, which consisted of burnt toast, raw eggs, and some bacon that wiggled a bit too much. Hopefully, the orange juice was good. You can’t go wrong with orange juice. Others might have gotten a present of some sort. A friend of mine asked me what I was getting my mom for Mother’s Day, and I replied ever so quickly. She gets me! I came back in one piece! What more could she want? So Mom, happy mother’s day! I remember being younger, making a little coupon book of things that my mom wouldn’t have to do that week, or a list of things that I promised I would do better to help out around the house. I think my mother had to work twice as hard that week.. But, truly...
On a day like this we have the opportunity to take stock, if you will, of how we are doing with our families. How well we are doing to be a good husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, brother, or sister. If we could, I would ask that as I speak that you do a little bit of introspection and ask yourself, how am I doing? And what can I do better? And I pray that the spirit will be here to guide both you and I as we examine a few items that effect our families.
On November 4, 2008, California voters gathered to the polls to vote in the most monumental election ever held in the United States of America. They faced two very big decisions. One being who would be the next President of this country. Second, whether or not they would uphold the definition of traditional marriage, between a man and a woman. This proposition, Proposition 8 had been presented before as Proposition 22, in the year 2000. Proposition 22 was deemed unconstitutional by the California Supreme Court and would only be upheld if proposition 8 passed making the definition of marriage between a man and woman a constitutional amendment.
I do not wish to spend the short time I have with you speaking on the political issues involved, nor do I want to speak on the many problems and the great sin and consequences that comes with same sex marriage, but rather I would like to speak on what is at stake here. In the year 2008, the US alone, reported to have some 13 million single parent households.
Most of those households could be affected by the fact that one in three teen girls in the US are estimated to get pregnant at least once before age 20.
Maybe the fact that “probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue.” That just might be a contributing factor as well.
In 1950 the average age for a man to get married was 23, while it was about 20 for a woman. It is now more popular to push marriage back until all the fun is had, all the school is done, the car is bought, the house is purchased, and the dog trained. It is reported that men wait until the age of 28, or even later to get married, while women are not to far behind at the age of 26.
As people are waiting longer until they get married, they are unable to have as many kids. They are also waiting longer to have kids or not having kids at all. In 1970 the average American family size was 4. That has now slipped closer to 2 as one-third of the families in the United States have only two members in them, meaning, no kids. And with advancements in technology, some 40 million abortions are reported every year worldwide.
As well, same sex attraction has moved from being a temptation, to a way in which one is born. All of these, point to a growing attack on the family. I have no intentions of speaking about each one of these stats, however, I would like to point out that if these trends continue, that the way in which our Heavenly Father has intended to move his plan forward, will no longer exist. If the family is destroyed, so is the plan of our Heavenly Father. I do not want to sit here and wring our hands over these statistics , but I would like to address three vital points on things we can do to turn the trends. One, we need to understand the importance of the family as the Lord’s servants have taught. Two, we must understand what our role is within the family. And three, we need to become men and women of holiness, or in other words we need to build Zion.
First, the importance of the family as the Lord’s servants have taught us.
One of the first principles that missionaries teach is that the gospel blesses family, if that family lives the gospel. It is through the family that we can receive all the blessing that our Heavenly Father has in store for us.
President Harold B. Lee declared, “ The most important of the Lord’s work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes.”
In the Family, A Proclamation to the world it states:
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.
I do not know a better way to state it than that. The family is essential to the plan of salvation. Through the power of procreation we are able to bring children into the world, which “are an heritage of the Lord.” Families are something sacred, and something that should be held sacred. And if families are sacred than so is the responsibilities of fatherhood and especially that of motherhood. It shouldn’t be something taken lightly, or looked at as a burden, but rather one of the most sacred and greatest responsibilities ever given to mankind.
President David O. Mckay said, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” We need to do all that we can to build our families upon the gospel and anchor them in the faith of Jesus Christ.
When Moses received the ten commandments, he received 8 commandments of things that the children of Israel should not do, and the other two were things that we should. One of those being that we should keep the Sabbath day holy, the other, to “Honour thy father and thy mother.” This brings me to my second point - we must understand our role within the family.
While many hold the word honor to mean respecting and obeying ones parents, our good friend Webster, gives us a definition that might help us understand a little bit better what the Great Jehovah told Moses.
Honor denoting a good name or public esteem, or one whose worth brings respect or fame.
Now, with this definition in mind, maybe we should look at this great commandment as a way to bring honor to our father and mother. And how could we do that? Well, sometimes when seeking to understand a principle better, we may examine the opposite to help us understand it. The contrast makes it clear. I feel a few words from the Book of Proverbs might help us.
He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach -Proverbs 19:26
That doesn’t like bringing any honor or fame to ones parents. The story of the prodigal son might be applied here as the yooungest son demand his inheritance from his father, and then went about spending and wasting it on things that he had been taught all along were wrong. How sad it is to see, a son or a daughter, turn their back on all the whole and good things that their parents taught them, and go off chasing after the things of the world. How sad it is to see a son or daughter, disrespect, or talk bad about their father or mother, the person who brought them into this world and raised them and took care of their needs. How sad it is to see a son or daughter not give any heed or listen to anything that their mother or father is telling them. What honor are they bringing to their parents?
If this great nation is to turn the trends and protect the family we need more mothers and fathers in zion. We need more young men and young women who understand what their role is in the family and do all that they can to bring honor upon their parents in all ways that they can. Our role in the family is very simple, where ever you fall, being the oldest, the youngest, or stuck right in the middle, or whatever you may be, just be your best, and make sure it is your very best. Bring all the honor and respect that you can to your family, remembering at all times, in all places, and in all things you represent your family, and not just your earthly family, but your ward and your Heavenly family. Holding strong to those values such as Honesty, integrity, chastity, virtue, gratitude, love, and respect. Living and obeying all the commandments of God. And being an example to all of the blessings that come from obeying and honoring your parents.
Now, lastly if we want to turn the trends, we must build Zion. The easiest way to obtain this would be to become like God, or become men and women of Holiness.
In the Book of Moses we learn one of Gods many names.
“Behold I am God; Man of Holiness is my name.”
Christ in the great sermon on the Mount gave us a commandment of something to not just do, or say, but to be become.
“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”
Now, we are commanded to become like our Father in Heaven, who is a Man of Holiness, so, how may one become Holy? We know of a few places that are holy to the Lord, one being the temple, in which all who enter and even just pass by may read, The House of the Lord, Holiness to The Lord.
In the dedicatory prayer to the Kirtland temple, the Prophet Joseph prayed that “all people who shall enter upon the threshold of the Lord’s house may feel thy power, and feel constrained to acknowledge that thou hast sanctified it, and that it is thy house, a place of thy holiness.”
For one to become holy, they must be sanctified by the Lord, much like each one of the temples that have been built in this great latter day dispensation. As Enoch taught his people, the people who would build Zion,
“For by the water ye keep the commandment, by the Spirit ye are justified(justified meaning made right before the Lord), and by the blood (or in other words the atonement) ye are sanctified.”
What is the commandment? For all to come unto God, and after having exercised faith and repenting, they should be baptized by those who have the authority to perform such ordinances. That is why Christ was baptized to keep the commandment or to fulfill all righteousness as the scripture states.
My father is a mechanic, as many of you know. His hands are somewhat black from his daily contact with oil. Does this have something to do with his hygiene? No not at all. He showers regularly, I promise, and he washes his hands multiple times a day. However, due to the constant contact with oil, it has worked down into the little lines in his hand. After proper washing, he can eat foods, and participate in regular activities without all the germs and dirt that come with that oil. The soap has made his hands justified, or made right so he can enjoy such activities. In order for him to get those deep lines of oil out of his hands, he must refrain from touching oil for a long period of time, allowing for all that dirt and oil, to be slowly, but surely removed.
So it is with each of us. When we sin, our hands become filthy, marked and marred with dirt. And with proper washing, or repentance, we may be justified, or made right to participate in all ordinances of the gospel. However, for one to be sanctified, or be made pure, holy, without spot, they must refrain from all ungodliness. Such was what Moroni taught us in his concluding words,
“Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.
And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.”
Some may state that this is something impossible, something that we can not reach while in this life. May I reassure that becoming holy, or sanctified, is ever so possible with this quote by the Prophet Brigham Young:
“Do we realize that if we enjoy a Zion in time or in eternity we must make it for ourselves? That all, who have a Zion in the eternities of the Gods, organized, framed, consolidated, and perfected it themselves, and consequently are entitled to enjoy it?
When we conclude to make a Zion we will make it, and this work commences in the heart of each person. When the father of a family wishes to make a Zion in his own house, he must take the lead in this good work, which it is impossible to him to do unless he himself possesses the spirit of Zion. Before he can produce the work of sanctification in his family, he must sanctify himself, and by this means God can help him to sanctify his family.
There is not one thing wanting in all the works of God’s hands to make a Zion upon the earth when the people conclude to make it. We can make a Zion of God on earth at our pleasure, upon the same principle that we can raise a field of wheat, or build and inhabit.
There has been no time when the material has not been here from which to produce corn, wheat, etc., and by the judicious management and arrangement of this ever-existing material a Zion of God can always be built on the earth.”
We need more mothers and fathers who posses the desire to build Zion. May I return to where I started, with the story of Proposition 8. Many people felt that Proposition 8 would fail, that it would not pass and that same sex marriage would be allowed. That was not the case. A coalition was formed to pass Prop 8, which consisted of many churches and organizations, but The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints took the in getting out the vote. It was the only church that had the organization to do so. And so, the members of the church, sacrificed money and time to go door to door and let people know to go vote. Many hours were spent on the phone calling people to make them aware of Prop 8 on the ballot and to get people to go out and vote. Prop 8 passed by a rather narrow margin, and as prophesied, Satan attacked God’s only true church. While the church was part of a coalition, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was the only church to be openly attacked. People protested outside of churches, at temple square in Utah, and made a rather big scene at the temple in Los Angeles. Calling the members of the Church bigots, and hateful people.
Now, many of you are aware of how many Polynesians are members of the church, and to them, their membership in the church is something sacred to them. The church and the temple is very holy to them. Well, when the protesters gathered outside the LA temple, a group of members from a Polynesian Stake were inside for their stake temple day. They were not happy to see people defacing the gates to the temples, and hanging up posters and picketing. No, they were not going to allow such things to be done to the house of the Lord. No, not for one second, and so they helped those protesters move across the street, and when I say move, they literally moved them.
Brothers and sisters, the bible dictionary teaches us something of great worth about our homes. Under the definition of temple it reads “A temple is literally a house of the Lord, a holy sanctuary in which sacred ceremonies and ordinances of the gospel are performed by and for the living and also in behalf of the dead. A place where the Lord may come, it is the most holy of any place of worship on the earth. Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.”
My mission president said once in a Zone Conference held at his house. “Elders you feel the spirit here, and it is not because I live here, or that this is the mission home, it is because no unclean thing enters in this home. Not through the TV, or the movies, or the music, or the internet. No unclean thing is welcomed here.”
If we want to build Zion, it will start within the walls of our home. We must make a stand, like our Polynesian brothers and sisters did. No, we can not tolerate these trends and say, it’s the norm, its okay. No, it is not. The family is to sacred, the home is to sacred of a place to let it be ruined by the sleeze of the world. We must build our homes upon the gospel of faith, of repentance, of covenant making and keeping. We must show love and respect to others, and we must, we must, be forgiving and have charity. This is my humble prayer in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Truth!
"Rapid Hope Loss"
You called to say you wanted out.
Well, I can't say I blame you now.
Sometimes you've got to fold
before you're found out.
Well thanks for waiting this long to show yourself.
Cause now that I can see you,
I don't think you're worth a second glance.
So much for all the promises you made, they served you well
and now you're gone and they're wasted on me.
So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well
and now it's gone and you're wasted on me.
You called to say you wanted out.
Well, I can't say I blame you now.
Sometimes you've got to fold
before you're found out.
Well thanks, thanks for waiting this long to show yourself, show yourself.
Cause now that I can see you,
I don't think you're worth a second glance.
So much for all the promises you made, they served you well
and now you're gone and they're wasted on me.
So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well
and now it's gone and you're wasted on me.
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna get, so much for, so much more
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna get, so much for, so much more
Do what you must if that's what you wish,
I can't be a party to this
you have a sense that you were born with
You'll find a way to make things right.
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna get. so much for, so much more
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna get. so much for, so much more
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna get. so much for, so much more
This is probably one of my favorite songs by Dashboard Confessional. I think it really conveys what happens in most relationships. I truly think the relationship break down happens a long time before the actually break up. More than that, I think most often than not, one side puts up a smoke screen before truly coming out and saying what is on their mind. I mean, let’s say a guy is really into a girl, and the girl isn’t so sure. Well the girl puts on the front like hey I really like you. So the guy is stoked out of his mind and things start off good, but after a while, things start getting weird, home girl won’t return his calls, the wheels of the relationship start to fall off, and then the girl comes out with the truth. I don’t know if I really like you, why don’t we just be friends, blah blah blah.
Why don’t we just do this. Let’s just be honest. If the girl would just say, hey, I’m not sure what I think about you, let’s take it slow and work things out. Let’s see how we feel and go from there. Than home boy wouldn’t have any issues. He would know what is going on. Things aren’t so sure and settled.
The key to any relationship is good clear communication. Right from the get go. If you’re looking for someone good looking, well don’t settle for one that you think is mediocre, because then one day things won’t be going so good and you will second guess yourself and say oh she isn’t so great and then you will say something stupid in the heat of an argument. Or if you are looking for some to get married to, say that early. Make it clear, that you are looking to get married to someone. That way, the girl or guy sitting across from you knows what you are thinking. If not, well in a few months after dating, you’re going to talk about, and the other person is going to freak because they aren’t ready for said commitment. So, give it a few months or just even weeks, and boom, relationship is over.
The lesson here is simple. Don’t beat around the bush. Be honest, straight forward, and upfront.
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