Have you ever had one of those mornings where you wake up and you just say to yourself, screw this! I mean, you literally have no desire to be awake, or alive. Any thing that requires more than taking two steps you just don’t want to do. Eating doesn’t sound like fun, working out, hanging out, nothing, you want to do absoultely nothing.
I guess I pose this question to see hey, how do you get out of this? I am probably just going to walk you through my way of getting out of these funks. I mean, I have experienced a whole heck of a lot of them, I noticed them most on my mission, but now in the day to day life, I’ve begun to notice them again.
FIrst I think you need to examine the situation. What makes you feel this way? What has changed? I mean sometimes it is nothing more than you being sick and tired of being sick and tired. TIred of the hustle and bustle of life. Sometimes things haven’t played out like you wanted them. Some times you want a change of pace, or your body needs to regroup. But, other times, you just go into a rut and don’t get out. You take a day off and then you take three or four, or a week. You do the bare minimun to survive, and it is human nature to be lazy. So, now examine how did you get there and change what you can change.
Second, you need to change the way you look at it. Too often we see this as an eternal thing. We think hey that this one bad day, is a year long, and a week is like an eternity. So, relax, one bad day doesn’t mean your life sucks. It just means it is one 24 hour period. You are and can come out of this. So, don’t let it get to you, don’t get discouraged, don’t get down on yourself. Pick your head up and keep moving.
“Things will work out. Keep trying, keep believing, Things will work out.”- Gordon B. Hinckley
Third, make yourself work. Now, you are thinking, well that is the problem, I don’t want to. Too often we look at the day as wow, there is so much to do. Or, I just want this day to be over. Well, sitting and doing nothing won’t make it go any faster, and to be honest, it will probably make things go much slower. So, focus on what you are going to do this minute, okay and work little by little. Keep going and moving forward and low and behold, the day will end. Whether you do nothing or do a lot, the day will end. So, to help yourself feel better, do something, so you feel accomplished.
These are just a few ideas I have. I am sure everyone has their own way of getting over it and moving on. These are just a few of mine. I hope you enjoy them.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Rule #1 - Breaking up
Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company,
But if you're honest, and direct,
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news,
The boy will respect you for your frankness,
And honestly he'll appreciate the kind of straight forward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you'll remain friends
So, I am hanging out with one of my best friends from my home town and we start digging through some old CD’s and we pull up this song. Popular by Nada Surf. I remember this song from high school. I enjoyed it for a little bit back then but then I just got annoyed with in and haven’t listened to it for a few years. But with some recent events in my life, I heard this song again and realized hey this song has some important life lessons about dating, and relationships in general. Let’s review the first of the three important rules of breaking up, and most importantly, why.
The first rule is some what long, but first and foremost, don’t put off breaking up. Why? Very simply put, if you are not digging the relationship, don’t think, they aren’t either. Because while you are falling less and less in love with home boy or girl, they might be falling more and more in love with you. So while you may know hey this thing will end sometime soon, the other person might be planning out the eternites with you in mind. If you’re not feeling it, don’t be selfish and stick it out. If you know the relationship isn’t going to progress farther but you want to keep dating because it is fun, well, man up, be mature, and be honest with yourself, and the person you are dating.
Next part of rule one, don’t make a big production, elaborate story, and/or flowery emotional speech. Why? Very simple, no matter how you approach it, the person is going to be hurt. No need to make it worse by trying to sympatize and apologize for how you feel. You’re sorry for breaking up with me? What? Why? What did you do wrong? Is this the wrong thing? Is there something more to this break up that you aren’t telling me? You see all the questions that come. You’re a great person and all, but you’re just not for me. How do you handle that? I am great but not great enough for you? You are going to make some one really happy someday, that person just won’t be me. Why won’t it be you? So are you faking being happy with me now? Keep it simple, I don’t like you as much as I thought, and I know we won’t work out in the future, so we are breaking up. End of story. What is there left to question? Why don’t you like me? Okay, so list a true major issue you have, don’t compare to others, and leave it at that, maybe an example or two, just so the person isn’t left saying, BS, you just made that up.
Don’t come up with a big story like my parents are going to do this or think this, or next semester is going to be hard, or I just don’t need this right now, or I just don’t have time for this. Face it, in a week or so you are going to be off trying to hang out and do things with people, that you could have done with your significant other. Don’t make excuses, because whatever excuse or reason that you are coming up with to get yourself out really doesn’t exist. Look at it this way, if you were going to be dating someone else, would you make this excuse? If you want out, just say, I want out. No excuses, no big made up story, because guess what, your ex, may or may not find out, but if they do, your whole story that you made up trying not to hurt them, just hurt them even more. Not only are they not dating you anymore, but you lied to them to get out.
Lastly, whatever you do, whatever you say, however you approach this. Whether it is in person, letter, email, text, or through a friend. Face the facts, the person will be hurt. They won’t want to just be friends, or still hang out. It says it perfect.
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company,
I don’t care who you are. I don’t know of anyone that is just so excited to get out of a relationship, when they aren’t the one doing the breaking up. So, don’t try to be supportive, don’t apologize when you break up. Don’t stick it out as friends. Don’t check up on them. Don’t invite them to do things with you, so they don’t feel lonely, or sad. You broke up with them. You better be dang sure that you move on. That you move forward. Remember, you don’t want to be in this relationship. You don’t think it will work out. SO don’t seek their approval or their support or ok about you breaking up with them. Don't wish them a happy birthday or a merry christmas or any thing else along the way. You broke up with them so you need to get out of their life. You gave up your options, you can't say, oh I hope we can do this together. No you ended the relationship so your ex now can go forward however he/she wants. And you have to deal with it. So, deal with it.
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company,
But if you're honest, and direct,
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news,
The boy will respect you for your frankness,
And honestly he'll appreciate the kind of straight forward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you'll remain friends
So, I am hanging out with one of my best friends from my home town and we start digging through some old CD’s and we pull up this song. Popular by Nada Surf. I remember this song from high school. I enjoyed it for a little bit back then but then I just got annoyed with in and haven’t listened to it for a few years. But with some recent events in my life, I heard this song again and realized hey this song has some important life lessons about dating, and relationships in general. Let’s review the first of the three important rules of breaking up, and most importantly, why.
The first rule is some what long, but first and foremost, don’t put off breaking up. Why? Very simply put, if you are not digging the relationship, don’t think, they aren’t either. Because while you are falling less and less in love with home boy or girl, they might be falling more and more in love with you. So while you may know hey this thing will end sometime soon, the other person might be planning out the eternites with you in mind. If you’re not feeling it, don’t be selfish and stick it out. If you know the relationship isn’t going to progress farther but you want to keep dating because it is fun, well, man up, be mature, and be honest with yourself, and the person you are dating.
Next part of rule one, don’t make a big production, elaborate story, and/or flowery emotional speech. Why? Very simple, no matter how you approach it, the person is going to be hurt. No need to make it worse by trying to sympatize and apologize for how you feel. You’re sorry for breaking up with me? What? Why? What did you do wrong? Is this the wrong thing? Is there something more to this break up that you aren’t telling me? You see all the questions that come. You’re a great person and all, but you’re just not for me. How do you handle that? I am great but not great enough for you? You are going to make some one really happy someday, that person just won’t be me. Why won’t it be you? So are you faking being happy with me now? Keep it simple, I don’t like you as much as I thought, and I know we won’t work out in the future, so we are breaking up. End of story. What is there left to question? Why don’t you like me? Okay, so list a true major issue you have, don’t compare to others, and leave it at that, maybe an example or two, just so the person isn’t left saying, BS, you just made that up.
Don’t come up with a big story like my parents are going to do this or think this, or next semester is going to be hard, or I just don’t need this right now, or I just don’t have time for this. Face it, in a week or so you are going to be off trying to hang out and do things with people, that you could have done with your significant other. Don’t make excuses, because whatever excuse or reason that you are coming up with to get yourself out really doesn’t exist. Look at it this way, if you were going to be dating someone else, would you make this excuse? If you want out, just say, I want out. No excuses, no big made up story, because guess what, your ex, may or may not find out, but if they do, your whole story that you made up trying not to hurt them, just hurt them even more. Not only are they not dating you anymore, but you lied to them to get out.
Lastly, whatever you do, whatever you say, however you approach this. Whether it is in person, letter, email, text, or through a friend. Face the facts, the person will be hurt. They won’t want to just be friends, or still hang out. It says it perfect.
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company,
I don’t care who you are. I don’t know of anyone that is just so excited to get out of a relationship, when they aren’t the one doing the breaking up. So, don’t try to be supportive, don’t apologize when you break up. Don’t stick it out as friends. Don’t check up on them. Don’t invite them to do things with you, so they don’t feel lonely, or sad. You broke up with them. You better be dang sure that you move on. That you move forward. Remember, you don’t want to be in this relationship. You don’t think it will work out. SO don’t seek their approval or their support or ok about you breaking up with them. Don't wish them a happy birthday or a merry christmas or any thing else along the way. You broke up with them so you need to get out of their life. You gave up your options, you can't say, oh I hope we can do this together. No you ended the relationship so your ex now can go forward however he/she wants. And you have to deal with it. So, deal with it.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Don't Blink!
Don’t blink! I am sitting here in my living room in Provo messing around on the internet and listening to some songs on youtube. I found one of my favorite songs by Kenny Chesney called “Don’t Blink.”
I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is."
Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
I was glued to my tv and it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth
Don't Blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
I've been tryna slow it down
I've been tryna take it in
In this here today gone tomorrow world we're livin' in
Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
Naw, don't blink
Life goes faster than you think...
I love this song because even though I am only 22 it seems like life has just gotten by me. And while somethings seem so far off, I know they really aren’t. For example, I have another 5-6 years of school ahead, marriage, kids, all of that, and I know if I am not careful, and am not proactive and productive, that I could miss a lot of great opportunities and grow in a lot of ways.
It’s like my mission. Everyone thinks that two years are so long, but I remember going to bed the last night of my mission, after two years, and thinking, man, I just got started. It wasn’t like I hadn’t worked or wasted time, it was just that times always moves forward, and little by little, day by day, things move a long.
High school was the same way. Four years, at the time that was a quarter of my life, to spend four years in one school, and that was nothing. My senior year just flew by and I remember sitting in Johnson Gym at UNM watching the state wrestling meet and thinking, what have I done with my six year wrestling career? I loved it, I loved every bit of it, but it seemed like, man, I could have done more. I could have seen more, explored more, and grown more.
I don’t regret any decision I have made with my life. I am just merely observing that sometimes we look to the future so much that we miss the blessings of living in the now! We can find the same great counsel in the scriptures.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. - Matthew 6:34
Love life, and live for today, because today is awesome. Tomorrow will come soon enough, but live in the moment, now. And some day when we are a hundred we can look back and think man, life was great, I never wasted a day!
I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is."
Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
I was glued to my tv and it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth
Don't Blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
I've been tryna slow it down
I've been tryna take it in
In this here today gone tomorrow world we're livin' in
Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
Naw, don't blink
Life goes faster than you think...
I love this song because even though I am only 22 it seems like life has just gotten by me. And while somethings seem so far off, I know they really aren’t. For example, I have another 5-6 years of school ahead, marriage, kids, all of that, and I know if I am not careful, and am not proactive and productive, that I could miss a lot of great opportunities and grow in a lot of ways.
It’s like my mission. Everyone thinks that two years are so long, but I remember going to bed the last night of my mission, after two years, and thinking, man, I just got started. It wasn’t like I hadn’t worked or wasted time, it was just that times always moves forward, and little by little, day by day, things move a long.
High school was the same way. Four years, at the time that was a quarter of my life, to spend four years in one school, and that was nothing. My senior year just flew by and I remember sitting in Johnson Gym at UNM watching the state wrestling meet and thinking, what have I done with my six year wrestling career? I loved it, I loved every bit of it, but it seemed like, man, I could have done more. I could have seen more, explored more, and grown more.
I don’t regret any decision I have made with my life. I am just merely observing that sometimes we look to the future so much that we miss the blessings of living in the now! We can find the same great counsel in the scriptures.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. - Matthew 6:34
Love life, and live for today, because today is awesome. Tomorrow will come soon enough, but live in the moment, now. And some day when we are a hundred we can look back and think man, life was great, I never wasted a day!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Christmas time is here!
Man, it has been a long time, a long time since I have set down and blogged it up. Really, I mean it almost seems like it has been decades since I have done this. I have almost forgotten how to approach it, and what to say. But with a newly obtained computer, I see this coming back to me. Rather quickly, I hope. So, let's get cracking!
With the wonderful time of year it is, I find myself, just like I do every year, wondering how one should feel about Christmas. I mean, it is awesome, people spending all this time to find presents, being thoughtful, and more kinder to others. Reaching out and giving. How awesome is that! You know I must agree that Christmas should come more often. But here is where I find myself a little bit disappointed in myself. I just don't seem to get into the Holiday swing of things! I am not a big shopper, and I hate crowds. I like to do nice things for people but I always like to do nice things for people.
I am not big into getting a tree and decorating it. I mean it is nice and fun and stuff, and I have seen a lot of people do really cool things with lights and decorations, but I don't seem to think hey I should go do that. I don't mind helping people do that kind of stuff, but then I am just back into the service mode of life.
You see, I think I could go with out Christmas, well, figuratively speaking. I mean if I never knew that Christmas didn't exist, or hey I would go even as far as to say that if someone decided that we no longer would celebrate Christmas, the only reason I would be upset is because it would take away from an opportunity to celebrate the birth of our Savior.
So maybe that is the thing, maybe the issue I really have with Christmas is that of the commercial aspect. I enjoy going to Christmas and hearing the wonderful stories of giving and receiving and helping and lifting. I enjoy listening to some of the wonderful Christmas music put together by choirs. I enjoy taking some time to sit and reflect and think about what it would have been like to be there in the manager where the infant Jesus was born. Or how Joseph and Mary were visited by angels and what they thought as they knew their first born would be the Savior and Redeemer of the world. It seems as if we would take but a few brief moments to just sit and think, what was it like? What does this mean? How does this effect me? That we could really grasp and feel and see what Joseph and Mary saw. And what the wise men and shepherds saw and felt, too.
As this time of year continues forward may we all take some time to sit and reflect what Christmas is truly about. Sadly enough, to often we burden ourselves down with so much hustling and bustling. Running here and there, needing to be at this house, and that party, and visit this person, all in the "Spirit of Christmas" that we forget and run right past the "Spirit of Christmas." Everyone says it, we all repeat it, "Christ is the reason for the season", but what have we done to make Christ a part of us. What change have we made in our lives to show that he is. And I am not just talking about the change we make for just this month, all the giving and visiting and what not. Christ didn't just serve for one month out of the year. He did it all the time.
Maybe I might be wrong, maybe I am a bit off my rocker, but I don't think so. I think we truly overcrowd our lives, and entertain ourselves to death, spiritual death, in a time of year when we should be awakening our spiritual lives even more so. May we all have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year. Merry Christmas.
With the wonderful time of year it is, I find myself, just like I do every year, wondering how one should feel about Christmas. I mean, it is awesome, people spending all this time to find presents, being thoughtful, and more kinder to others. Reaching out and giving. How awesome is that! You know I must agree that Christmas should come more often. But here is where I find myself a little bit disappointed in myself. I just don't seem to get into the Holiday swing of things! I am not a big shopper, and I hate crowds. I like to do nice things for people but I always like to do nice things for people.
I am not big into getting a tree and decorating it. I mean it is nice and fun and stuff, and I have seen a lot of people do really cool things with lights and decorations, but I don't seem to think hey I should go do that. I don't mind helping people do that kind of stuff, but then I am just back into the service mode of life.
You see, I think I could go with out Christmas, well, figuratively speaking. I mean if I never knew that Christmas didn't exist, or hey I would go even as far as to say that if someone decided that we no longer would celebrate Christmas, the only reason I would be upset is because it would take away from an opportunity to celebrate the birth of our Savior.
So maybe that is the thing, maybe the issue I really have with Christmas is that of the commercial aspect. I enjoy going to Christmas and hearing the wonderful stories of giving and receiving and helping and lifting. I enjoy listening to some of the wonderful Christmas music put together by choirs. I enjoy taking some time to sit and reflect and think about what it would have been like to be there in the manager where the infant Jesus was born. Or how Joseph and Mary were visited by angels and what they thought as they knew their first born would be the Savior and Redeemer of the world. It seems as if we would take but a few brief moments to just sit and think, what was it like? What does this mean? How does this effect me? That we could really grasp and feel and see what Joseph and Mary saw. And what the wise men and shepherds saw and felt, too.
As this time of year continues forward may we all take some time to sit and reflect what Christmas is truly about. Sadly enough, to often we burden ourselves down with so much hustling and bustling. Running here and there, needing to be at this house, and that party, and visit this person, all in the "Spirit of Christmas" that we forget and run right past the "Spirit of Christmas." Everyone says it, we all repeat it, "Christ is the reason for the season", but what have we done to make Christ a part of us. What change have we made in our lives to show that he is. And I am not just talking about the change we make for just this month, all the giving and visiting and what not. Christ didn't just serve for one month out of the year. He did it all the time.
Maybe I might be wrong, maybe I am a bit off my rocker, but I don't think so. I think we truly overcrowd our lives, and entertain ourselves to death, spiritual death, in a time of year when we should be awakening our spiritual lives even more so. May we all have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year. Merry Christmas.
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