Rule #1 - Breaking up

Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company,
But if you're honest, and direct,
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news,
The boy will respect you for your frankness,
And honestly he'll appreciate the kind of straight forward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you'll remain friends

So, I am hanging out with one of my best friends from my home town and we start digging through some old CD’s and we pull up this song. Popular by Nada Surf. I remember this song from high school. I enjoyed it for a little bit back then but then I just got annoyed with in and haven’t listened to it for a few years. But with some recent events in my life, I heard this song again and realized hey this song has some important life lessons about dating, and relationships in general. Let’s review the first of the three important rules of breaking up, and most importantly, why.

The first rule is some what long, but first and foremost, don’t put off breaking up. Why? Very simply put, if you are not digging the relationship, don’t think, they aren’t either. Because while you are falling less and less in love with home boy or girl, they might be falling more and more in love with you. So while you may know hey this thing will end sometime soon, the other person might be planning out the eternites with you in mind. If you’re not feeling it, don’t be selfish and stick it out. If you know the relationship isn’t going to progress farther but you want to keep dating because it is fun, well, man up, be mature, and be honest with yourself, and the person you are dating.

Next part of rule one, don’t make a big production, elaborate story, and/or flowery emotional speech. Why? Very simple, no matter how you approach it, the person is going to be hurt. No need to make it worse by trying to sympatize and apologize for how you feel. You’re sorry for breaking up with me? What? Why? What did you do wrong? Is this the wrong thing? Is there something more to this break up that you aren’t telling me? You see all the questions that come. You’re a great person and all, but you’re just not for me. How do you handle that? I am great but not great enough for you? You are going to make some one really happy someday, that person just won’t be me. Why won’t it be you? So are you faking being happy with me now? Keep it simple, I don’t like you as much as I thought, and I know we won’t work out in the future, so we are breaking up. End of story. What is there left to question? Why don’t you like me? Okay, so list a true major issue you have, don’t compare to others, and leave it at that, maybe an example or two, just so the person isn’t left saying, BS, you just made that up.

Don’t come up with a big story like my parents are going to do this or think this, or next semester is going to be hard, or I just don’t need this right now, or I just don’t have time for this. Face it, in a week or so you are going to be off trying to hang out and do things with people, that you could have done with your significant other. Don’t make excuses, because whatever excuse or reason that you are coming up with to get yourself out really doesn’t exist. Look at it this way, if you were going to be dating someone else, would you make this excuse? If you want out, just say, I want out. No excuses, no big made up story, because guess what, your ex, may or may not find out, but if they do, your whole story that you made up trying not to hurt them, just hurt them even more. Not only are they not dating you anymore, but you lied to them to get out.

Lastly, whatever you do, whatever you say, however you approach this. Whether it is in person, letter, email, text, or through a friend. Face the facts, the person will be hurt. They won’t want to just be friends, or still hang out. It says it perfect.

Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company,

I don’t care who you are. I don’t know of anyone that is just so excited to get out of a relationship, when they aren’t the one doing the breaking up. So, don’t try to be supportive, don’t apologize when you break up. Don’t stick it out as friends. Don’t check up on them. Don’t invite them to do things with you, so they don’t feel lonely, or sad. You broke up with them. You better be dang sure that you move on. That you move forward. Remember, you don’t want to be in this relationship. You don’t think it will work out. SO don’t seek their approval or their support or ok about you breaking up with them. Don't wish them a happy birthday or a merry christmas or any thing else along the way. You broke up with them so you need to get out of their life. You gave up your options, you can't say, oh I hope we can do this together. No you ended the relationship so your ex now can go forward however he/she wants. And you have to deal with it. So, deal with it.